No Pants Neighbor
I'm 13, and I started babysitting my 7 year old neighbor sometime around last year. We were sitting in the family computer room, me reading while he played a computer game and he gets up to go to the bathroom. A few minutes later, he comes out with no pants and no underwear on, everything hanging out. I almost choked on my lemonade. I have a brother, but I was NOT expecting the kid to be this outgoing.
"I need you to wipe me," he says like it's a wonderful thing, "it's a special occasion - I had diarrhea!"
Oh my goodness. I HATE dealing with bodily fluids... puke, all of it! So I'm freaking out inwardly. "Buddy," I say, "why don't you just do that yourself the best you can."
Luckily he did so and then five minutes later, he comes out STILL wearing nothing from the waste down. It was all I could do not to start cracking up. Here we are, the SEVEN year old I babysit and I standing in the living room having a nervous conversation while the kid is grabbing his naked self the whole time. Then the door opens. The kid's dad comes in.
His eyes widen. "Robbie, why aren't you wearing any pants?' He gives me an apologetic look.
The kid goes into the bathroom for a minute and then comes out. "DAD! Look at my poop! It looks like a shark, doesn't it?"
The dad is a mildmannered corporate worker, and he nods with a quiet "that's nice, bud."
Finally the dad hands me a 20 dollar bill and says "Sorry about the no-pants thing..."
I smile and walk out the door, happy to leave the naked, shark producing 7 year old behind.
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